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Another two Pirates movies coming! Ho-Hum!

Another two Pirates movies coming! Ho-Hum!

I’m just going to come right out and say it – I find those dry huge turkey legs that have been baking in the sun at Disneyland more appealing than another “Pirates of the Caribbean”. I’m sorry, but those last two blew like a toothless two-buck hooker! Hell, I think I’ve had more fun on the actual “Pirates of the Caribbean” ride! (And that’s saying something)

Don’t get me wrong, I love Gore Verbinski’s original film but I have the same problem with the “Pirates” ‘sequels’ as I do the latter “Matrix” movies – there’s too much going on, not enough humour, and the tonal switch (in “Pirates” case, from swashbuckler comedy to supernatural ghost movie) is a turn-off.

I couldn’t be less enthused about this next “Pirates”, “Pirates of the Caribbean : On Stranger Tides” BUT I hold out hope that director Rob Marshall has returned the franchise to it’s roots – more laughs, more adventure, less zombies, less special effects.

HitFix reported overnight that we’ll be tortured treated to a further two “Pirates” films – both of which will shoot back-to-back (like “Dead Man’s Chest” and “At World’s End”). Now I hope this means that Disney are psyched by what they’re seeing so far of “On Stranger Tides” and that’s the impetus for greenlighting two more so early, but I might also be inclined to believe the house of Mouse has simply given the OK to two more based on the fact that, well, it’s a “Pirates of the Caribbean” movie someone wants to make two more of. They could be rubbish, but they’ll make money – and that, as we all know, is the literal bottom line.

When are these next two films going to go before the cameras? Hard to say. As HitFix point out, Depp’s got both “Dark Shadows” and “The Lone Ranger” coming up next year, so it’s not likely he’ll be applying any mascara again until 2012 at the earliest.

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Clint is the creator, editor and maintainer of Moviehole. Loves David Lynch, David Fincher... actually, any filmmaker by the name of David.

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