So bad it’s Good
#3 : Kickboxer II : The Road Back (1991)

Guilty Pleasures that we enjoyed – even though we don’t quite know why.

Movie Title : Kickboxer II : The Road Back
Released 1991
Starring Sasha Mitchell, Peter Boyle, Cary Hiroyuki-Tagawa, Dennis Chan, John Diehl, Michael Qissi, Brian Austin Green
Directed By Albert Pyun

What is it? It’s a film I watched about a dozen times in my teens and for some unfathomable reason, never judged. As if “Kickboxer”, starring Jean Claude Van Damme, wasn’t enough of a guilty pleasure, “Kickboxer II” (written and associated producer by a then-unknown David Goyer!) is like chocolate sprinkled diarrhoea - you can’t help but want a sniff of its droppings. It’s an undeniably cheesy “Karate Kid” rip-off – as the first “Kickboxer” was – that fixes on David Sloan (Sasha Mitchell, then best known for his role as the dimish ‘Cody’ on sitcom “Step by Step”), a kickboxer out for revenge for the killing of his two brothers (one of them the character played by Van Damme – who opted not to reprise his role) by the unstoppable killing machine Tong Po. Po himself is pretty keen on killing the last son of the Sloan family. A training montage or two later, Sloan meets his match in the ring. Cheesy music plays us out.

What’s wrong with it? Ha Ha, where do I start? In all fairness though, these martial-arts minded movies are never – and were never – about the story, they were about filling the screen with as much biffo as possible – and it’s got that. But since we’ve got to swing the axe at something, lets see – well, the storyline’s dreadfully far fetched and laughingly unbelievable (by “Kickboxer 3”, where David Sloan turned into some kind of ‘Rambo’ clone, it got preposterous); the performances leave a lot to be desired (don’t even get me started on pint-sized Brian Austin Green; who plays a small role) and the bullshit ‘family first’ messages evoke more giggles than tears. And another thing, it was mentioned in the first movie that Van Damme’s character only had one brother…. Did they think no one would notice? Still, as far as filmmaker Albert Pyun’s (anyone remember “Captain America” starring Matt Salinger?) concerned, it’s his finest hour.

What’s right about it? Like the first film, it’s fun – easily the best of the “Kickboxer” sequels. The fight scenes are well choreographed (and appreciably brutal); Sasha Mitchell made for a reasonably intriguing lead (thought he might have gone onto bigger things actually); the music is cheesy (have a listen to “in my brother’s eyes”; it’s hilarious!) but fitting, and the over-the-top storyline (there’s got to be a drinking game in here somewhere!) actually draws you in. It must’ve had something to draw such good actors as Peter Boyle (!), Cary Hiroyuki-Tagawa (then again, he did do “Mortal Kombat”) and John Diehl (so good in Schumacher’s “The Client”), right? No? just money?

Why is it so bad it’s good? Aside from the fact that it’s a very sloppy movie (I can’t believe how many fuck up’s this movie has; its terribly linked to the original – even Van Damme must’ve giggled through it) and most of it is a compilation of best bits from other fight movies (like “The Karate Kid” and “Rocky IV”), it’s still strangely appealing. Turn it on, and I bet you can’t turn it off.

- CLINT MORRIS

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