John White, Steve Talley, Meghan Heffern, Jake Siegel, Christopher McDonald, Eugene Levy

What made the first “’American Pie” work so well was writer Adam Herz’s knack for coming up with a realistic interpretation of today’s teenager (tell me you don’t know a Steve Stifler, Jim Levenstein or Nadia? - - if you do, can I have her number?). But more so, the fact that the Herz-penned Paul Weitz-directed teen comedy wasn’t just about hooters, it had heart.

If I recall correctly, only one of the actresses in the film – probably because the others had no-nudity clauses in their contracts - actually got her top off – Shannon Elizabeth, right? – so most of the titillation that people remember the film for was probably something that was suggested, not shown …. unlike these direct-to-video “American Pie” spin-off films they’re doing now.

The first one, “American Pie : Band Camp” (featuring newcomer Tad Hilgenbrinck as Stifer’s equally obnoxious and foul-mouthed cousin) was quite good, but the sequels have been tobogganing down the slope, headed for muck, ever since.

“American Pie : The Naked Mile” and this new one, “American Pie : Beta House” feature another new character – and another cousin of Stifler (played ever so brilliantly by Seann William Scott in the original trilogy) – the frigid and wet-behind-the-ears Erik (John White).

In last year’s “Naked Mile”, Erik visited his cousin Dwight – yep, you guessed it! – Stifler (Steve Talley) at college, where he’d join the locals to participate in the annual nudie run. That film was essentially just an excuse for a bunch of Canadian strippers to make a few extra dollars on the side.

An hour-and-a-half of naked breasts running around, with a couple of cum jokes, do not make a good teen comedy. This was bottom of the barrel rubbish.

Though “Beta House” is a little more tolerable – if only because they seem to be using the template of “Revenge of the Nerds” or “Porky’s” for inspiration, not an old John Holmes movie - it’s still a long way from the gut-busting hilarity of the 1999 original.

In it, Erik and his buddies are off to college where they’re decided to pledge the Beta House fraternity – presided by, of course, Dwight Stifler.
In order to earn their place in the fraternity, Erik and his pals have to accomplish a series of ridiculous tasks – have a stripper autograph your ass, is the first one – whilst Dwight goes head to head with the local ‘nerd’ fraternity who have snatched all the babes (babes know that the nerds will be the ones with the money out of school, you see?).

The characters aren’t that memorable or enjoyable to watch (newcomer Meghan Heffern, as Erik’s love interest, is probably the best – she seemed a little too good for this material) – bring Hilgenbrink’s Matt Stifler back! – there’s only one or two good gags (one involving a lad’s current squeeze possibly possessing a penis is a bit of a laugh) and again, emphasis seems to be on bosoms rather than belly laughs. I’m like any other guy, I like to see the odd naked bust, but if I’ve sat down to watch a ‘movie’ , I expect some meat with my veggies. If I wanted to watch fake tits bounce up and down for a couple of hours, I’d grab an admit one to the Crazyhorse.

Thankfully, it’s not “Naked Mile 2”, and this one’s actually enjoyable in parts, but still…someone needs to go back and watch the original film again, to see what made it fun in the first place, before they get to work on sequel number six.

NB : At least in this one the character of Jim’s Dad’’ (played by Eugene Levy; whose been in every one of the films) seems to have a reason for being here (as opposed to the last one where he simply turned up at the nudie run because he’s such a big fan of it) – he’s the lawyer bought in to bail the Stifler’s out of jail. Still, things must be pretty desperate for Levy… anyone else connected to the original “American Pie” films did a runner as soon as they heard the words ‘Direct to video Band Camp sequel’.

Rating :
Reviewer : Clint Morris